March 19, 2014

Finding My Way Home

I have a confession to make: it's been awhile since I've gone to church. Honestly, it's been way too long because when I say awhile, I mean months and months (and months). I've made every excuse in the book, ranging from I have a baby it's too hard to take him, I'm sick (which I really have been sick a lot this year), my husband's working and church is a place for families... But I'm tired of my own excuses. I'm sick of hearing myself justify not growing my faith within my community. I'm ashamed that I don't take my child to church to hear the Word of God each week. I feel like I've let myself and my family down. And worst of all, I feel like I've let God down.

I've been blessed beyond belief, and if for no other reason, I need to go to church each week to thank God. During my pregnancy I was put on full bed rest in the hospital for several days just before we had our little guy. During that time I prayed for hours. I promised God that I would raise my son to know and love the him if only he would deliver me a healthy baby boy. He held up his end of that bargain and now it's time for me to come to the table.

Disclaimer: I said I haven't gone to church but that doesn't mean I don't have a strong faith in God. I do try to reinforce the importance of a Christ-centered home for my son. I read the Bible to him almost every night, we pray in English and Spanish and we listen to a Christian radio station whenever we're in the car together.

This week I finally took the leap and went to a new church. I had every excuse lined up not to go, but I went anyway. I took my son and I felt a huge sense of relief when we entered the church doors. The priest spoke about how Lent is a celebration of Christ's transfiguration and how we're challenged to transfigure ourselves during these 40 days. We do that through our Lenten sacrifice so that we're more aware of our blessings but we also need to examine ourselves daily and find ways to truly change our soul. The priest asked each of us to search our hearts and find something that we can work on that will lead to personal transfiguration and I decided, right then and there, that for me it would be a commitment to church attendance and participation. It's a commitment that's long overdue. 

I encourage all of you to work towards a transfiguration of your own. I feel so much more at ease spiritually knowing that I have an actionable goal in place for the next 40 days and it's more than just giving something up. Really I'm getting something, I'm getting closer to God.


Be Blessed,
Brittany
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10 comments:

  1. Good for you for going back to church, even by yourself! I know it's hard when your husband is working and he can't always come too.

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    1. Thanks Callie! I just had to realize my faith journey is my own. It's great when he can be there but it shouldn't be a necessity for me to go.

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  2. My favorite thing about Church is you're always welcome no matter what you did or where you've been

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  3. Good work! I know it's hard to get to church with a baby in tow. And then get a nervous if the baby behaves appropriately. Getting to church is the hard part, though. But the feeling of happiness and centeredness (made up word: brain isn't working) after the Mass is awesome!

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    1. Lizzy, I completely agree. I want to take our little dude but it's such a chore. Just like a good workout I always feel like all the effort is worth it afterward.

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  4. I really miss going to church. I have not been in forever. I want to start going but like you said I make every excuse as to why I can't.

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  5. I was the same way - I just needed to go but it's so hard with a toddler. My church offers a nursery during some of the mass times I'd encourage you to find a church that has one so you can focus on the message instead of watching your little one.

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  6. Glad that you decided to go and that it turned out to be something positive for you! Keep in mind that church isn't for families, it's for sinners, so we all have a place there! :) Love that you are proactively instilling such great things into your son! (I also wish that I could pray/sing in Spanish with my son. I love how worship and prayer in different languages reveals the true depth and versatility of Christ)

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    1. Thanks Hayley! I'm so grateful that I made my way back to a church and I'm putting down my roots there. I feel know that while I'm an example to my son my soul is truly the benefactor.

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